I sat thinking today that I might be able to get hired anywhere I please. I have clearly qualified myself with hands on experience. So below is my list of jobs I might just be experienced enough to take on.
Nanny: With four boys I think this one needs no explanation.
Police Officer: Example of how diaper changing goes down: Speaking to the three two year old boys: “Line ’em up. Spread ’em. Do any of you have something in your pants that I should be aware of? Tell me now. Oh My! You should’ve warned me about that. Let’s clean it up. ”
I also have experience in weeding out the lies, finding evidence, maintaining the peace, controlling traffic and defending myself.
Actress: I die and raise from the dead daily. I have been shot, kung fu panda’d, beamed from aliens and received the kiss of death. I have played parts of alien, train conductor, tractor driver, grocery store clerk, magician, big bad monster, big bad wold, a baby, a dog, a doctor, and many other characters.
Oh and I can play the part of sympathetic mom and my boys really believe me. It’s Oscar worthy.
Plumber: I have experience unclogging terrible things from the toilets and drains.
Artist: Experience in face painting, finger painting, coloring and holiday decorating.
Doctor: I have diagnosed, medicated, bandaged, and magically kissed away a number of illnesses and injuries.
Maid: From floor to ceilings I have cleaned it.
HazMat Crew: Have you peaked in my trash can?
Exterminator: Everything from scorpions, centipedes and pack rats have sadly been exterminated by my hands.
Stylist: Now I wouldn’t hire me for this but I have cut the boys’ hair and the dog’s. One of the five was successful.
Cook: Three meals and two snacks a day.
Photographer: See albums and videos.
Personal Shopper: I happily purchase all items needed for 5 men, 1 woman, 7 pets, and one lovely home.
Call Girl: I have been married to Mark for 14 years. For all who know him no further explanation is needed.
Life Coach: Funny to follow Call Girl with Life Coach. I volunteer with my boys, teach them about giving and instill morals daily.
Chauffeur: I can get you anywhere and almost always on time. Clean driving record. I just don’t promise a clean car.
Engineer: Have you seen the three story train track I have built? Or the robots? Or the recycled clubhouse?
Nature Guide: My favorite. I lead long walks while pointing out wildlife, tracks, wildlife waste, plants and anything else of interest. I also lead star gazing tours.
I’m sure the list could go on and on but I actually am wearing myself out writing it. So I will leave this exhaustive list of qualifications and job of author to tend to my other jobs.
Amy also a mother, wife, sister, daughter, friend, athlete and aspiring naptaker.