He Said What?!?

Standard

S (age 7):  Mom, Truth or Dare?                                                                                                                                      Me: Truth                                                                                                                                                                                      S: Have you ever kissed a girl?                                                                                                                                               Me: Wow!  I was not expecting that question.                                                                                                                    S: Well, have you?                                                                                                                                                                      Me: No.                                                                                                                                                                                         S: Why not?                                                                                                                                                                                 Me:  I like boys.  But if I liked girls then I’d kiss a girl.                                                                                                     S: Truth or Dare?                                                                                                                                                                        Me: Truth                                                                                                                                                                                      S: You can’t always say truth!                                                                                                             Me: Okay.  Dare.                                                                                                                                                                         S:  Stick your finger in that fan.                                                                                                                                           Me: Yeah, no thanks.                                                                                                                                                               S: You’re no fun at this game.  I’m gonna play with someone fun.  Hey, P, Truth or Dare?

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IMG_0001S: Mom, last night when I was awake a big booger bubble came out of my nose!  It was so big and juicy that I pulled it out and ate it.  

Me: I’m not sure how to respond to that, S.

S:  Well I can tell you that it was big and chewy and tasted like candy.      

Me: Nice.  Thanks for sharing, I guess.  

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G was playing teeball last week when being his typical no-filter self he managed to make a scene for hisIMG_1128 entire run around the bases.  He hits the ball and runs to first base.  First base was being played by a classmate of his who is male and was wearing pink and blue shoes.  This boys also has very long blonde hair and by all appearances could pass as female.  Gibs arrives at first base and recognizes his classmate and then begins yelling to the spectators,

Hey everyone, attention please!  This is not a girl!  It’s totally a boy.  Not.  A.  Girl.  First base is a boy.  I know he looks like a girl but he’s not!

He then runs to second base and continues to inform all the players on the field in his loudest voice,

First base is totally not a girl.  Can you believe it?  He’s just a boy that looks like a girl.

And this continued for two more plays leaving me a beat red mama.  Note to self: must work on G’s filter and ability to be tactful.

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J had to fill out a questionnaire for the bio that would follow his yearbook picture (4th grade).

Question: Do you play an instrument?  If so, what?  

J’s Answer:  Yes.  The ArmPit fart.  LOL.

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