I read this FB post by Lissa Rankin
yesterday and found it to replicate a thought I frequently have.
I grow tired of people who are so invested in their image that they pretend to live perfect lives, which only leads others to compare themselves and judge themselves as not perfect enough by comparison. Why can’t we all just admit that we’re perfectly imperfect- and that our imperfections and scars make us beautiful and unique and relatable? Just in case I’ve pulled the wool over your eyes, I am FAR from perfect. I’m in marriage counseling. I have hairs on my chin and stretch marks on my butt. I battle my own ego. I can be bossy and demanding. I have to tame my ambition to avoid being a workaholic. So please don’t put me on a pedestal, and please don’t put yourself on one either, since it only distances you from those who would connect more if only they knew that you were as beautifully flawed as they are.
I try to live a vulnerable life. One that is open, flawed, genuine, and accessible. I make an attempt to be an open book, to expose sides of myself that others would choose to hide. It’s through this living that I have connected with many people. People who feel safe to share with me, expose their own flaws, and because of my openness and acceptance of my own shortcomings they feel more accepting and less critical of themselves. They quit measuring themselves against a standard that does not truly exist. In my opinion, our flaws, our scars, our humanness are what make us beautiful and relatable and those are the exact truths we need to quit masking. If only we could all rid ourselves of the masks that serve to hide our genuine selves and learn to love the person that is, not the person we pretend to be.
So in light of being genuine, imperfect, flawed and continuing the conversation that Lissa has so boldly put forth, I have put together a list of things that solidify that I’m just as flawed and human as you.
- I lose my temper and yell at my kids.
- At times I feel unqualified to be a mother.
- I am in marriage counseling.
- I take anxiety meds for OCD.
- Every day I struggle with body image.
- I had my breasts lifted a few years ago thinking it would make me happier. It didn’t.
- I have 6 significant scars on my body from 5 surgeries.
- I do not forgive very easily.
- I’m too lazy to floss.
- Sometimes I avoid situations simply because I’m afraid.
- I still don’t know what I want to do with my life.
- I constantly feel like I’m failing.
- Sometimes I fantasize about running away and becoming a recluse.
- I still have a lot of anger and stress about religion.
- When I’m hurt or scared, I build walls.
- I bury emotions until I explode.
- I can’t parallel park.
- I swear a lot.
- I can’t understand how they get a picture on my television screen or send emails from my computer to yours no matter how much they dumb down the explanation.
- I don’t remember names.
- I eat too much cheese.
- I can be a jealous wife.
- I’m on FB far more than I need to be.
- I love trash t.v. (Kardashians, Project Runway, the Bachelor…yeah those mind sucks).
I could go on and on and on and with relative ease but the point is to simply showcase that there is no shame in imperfection. Maybe my imperfections will allow you to see yours as more “normal”. I make a concerted effort to ask myself,
When I choose to put on this mask, who am I hiding from and why? Is the cost of hiding worth losing my genuine self?
The answer is almost always a resounding, NO!
(Photo credit: deeplifequotes)
Are you willing to share one flaw that removes you from the pedestal? Go for it. Step down and put you true self forward. That’s the person you want others to see, accept and love anyhow. So quit hiding and share. You’ll be happy you did.