He Said What?!?

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The boys and I are visiting Tucson.  It’s the first time they’ve been back here since we moved almost 2 years ago.  Needless to say, there have been lots of conversations and these are some of the more humorous ones.

As the plane was landing in Tucson, I could hear people laughing in the row in front of two of my boys so I tuned in to what my boys were saying to cause this laughter.

S (age 8):  Ewwwww….Tucson is so ugly.  It’s just brown.  
G (age 7):  It is ugly.  Yuck.  I don’t remember it being so ugly.
S:  Yeah, why does any one want to live in a land full of this much dirt.  Tucson is a dirt city.
G:  And, it looks like it is hot.  Brown hotness.  Yuck

 

On the car ride from the airport to Grandma’s house:

J (age 11):  Can you take us to see our first home?
P (age 8):  I’m pretty sure I’m looking at my first home.  I’m pretty sure my first home was Mama.  

 

Heard in the back row as I was driving:

G’ma:  When I’m old I might do that.
S: But you’re already old!

 

The boys and I were watching Ace Ventura when a sex scene came on the screen:

Boys:  What are they doing?
Me:  They’re having sex.
Boys:  Really?!!!?  
Tons of giggles and yucks
G (age 7): G stands up frustrated, pulls down his pants and points to his erect penis:
This is what  happens to me every time someone talks about sex or I see it!  
Me:  That’s normal, G, and it’ll probably happen for the rest of your life.  
G:  Grunts and goes back to watching the movie.  

My youngest has an issue with dogs wanting to dominate him.  He makes friends with dogs and then suddenly they are humping him.  Some are even aggressive and pull him down to the ground from a standing position.  I swear he must have some canine pheromones running through his system or something.  As usual, G made friends with my brother’s dog and a few days later she was constantly harassing him by humping him.

G:  Mocha, you want to have sex with me so bad.  (With sad resignation in his voice) Fine, I’ll just have sex with you.  

 

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